Keeping a Straight Face
by Renae Shnucumbs
Summary: Kakashi shouldn't have been chosen to look after them; no teenager deserves such undiluted torture - especially when in the face of a destiny altering problem! Crack-fic, chibi-fic AU/AR


**Alrighty, a de-ra-able! Woooooh! Hehe, Zis is a crackfic so don't think too much on it. *grin* It happened with my mum and the kids she looks after so I simply took that situation and replaced the names. Hope you enjoy it. **

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><p><strong>Summary<strong>: Kakashi shouldn't have been chosen to look after them; no teenager deserves such undiluted torture - especially when in the face of a destiny altering problem! Crack-fic, chibi-fic

Title: _**Keeping a Straight Face**_

Author: **Renae Shnucumbs**

**Character Ages**: Kakashi (_16 yrs old_), Sasuke (_3 yrs old_), Naruto (_2 ¾ yrs old_), Kiba (_2 ½ yrs old_) and Sakura (_2 yrs old_)

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><p>Kakashi was in a predicament, the sort of predicament no teenager in his right mind would willingly place themselves in. He had a gigantic problem, and earth shattering crisis, an erupting dilemma... he had...<p>

_An urge to fart._

The complications you ask? cuz like you know- farting a natural process – why couldn't he just do it? Just let it out and let bygones be bygones?

The complications, my friends, came in the form of four tiny little prodigal students that he was destined to look after till the end of time... or maybe just this hour. Surely they would know a fart as soon as they smelt one; it was pretty hard to miss after all... but then again – he would probably die trying to hold it in and then who would look after the kids? ... Yes, it was for the best that he sacrificed his pride and just let loose. With the thought in mind he nodded reassuringly to himself. Better in than out his role model had always said... then again – that guy was a ogre so he probably had the right.

He covertly glanced around at the chibi kids and groaned, shifting uncomfortably with sheer will power. Sasuke and Naruto were once again fighting over a small ninja star that had somehow found its way into their toy box, Kiba was rolling around on the floor apparently fighting an imaginary gigantic dog and Sakura was waddling around with her thumb in her mouth; her bright green eyes taking in everything enthusiastically. Kakashi simply counted his blessings that at least _that_ one child didn't screech her tiny little mouth of but didn't doubt for a second that she'd be half as quiet when she finally figured out how to talk.

With one last subtle look around the nursery he farted, feeling feint with relief before realizing his second problem – did Kami have something against him or what? Sure he had farted buuuuuut it had been a ninja fart. Damn! There was no way he could cover that up! He had hoped for something silent but he had no idea how right he would be! Silent farts are one thing...

But **ninja farts** are completely on another level! There was a reason those bloody things were labelled _Silent but violent_!

Quickly he tried to wave his hand underneath his butt, attempting to waft the scent to other side of the room but it seemed that one of the kids had already caught on. Sasuke Uchiha was in the process of lifting his tiny little head and sniffing when Kakashi panicked.

"All right, all right, who farted?" he improvised, attempting to sound accusing while discreetly getting up and walking away from his previous post. Sasuke, ready to accuse his best friend of just about anything, grabbed the bait and pointed a tiny little finger at Naruto.

"Naruto did!" he accused, shaking his head in mock disapproval. Naruto's jaw dropped and Kiba stopped rolling around to watch the battle about to occur.

"What? Naruto don't fart!" the blond shrieked back indignantly. "It musta been you 'Suke!"

Kakashi watched with a cocked head, scrunching his nose when the smell of _his_ fart finally attacked them. Kiba sat up straighter and made a face while Sakura giggled and pulled her thumb out of her mouth with a distinct _pop_!

"I did no-ot!" Sasuke yelled out, defending his honour as all Uchihas were trained to do. Naruto glared and narrowed his eyes before lashing out violently and landing a weak punch to Sasuke's side that had him tumbling. Sasuke glared at him before reaching out and pulling harshly on Naruto's blond strands. Both were stubborn and neither was about to give in so Kakashi hurried to pull them apart. Kiba made a choking noise as he did so, seeming as though the tiny child had realized something gigantic.

"Mum farts a lot, and so does me sis... everyone in my pack does really, like gigantic ppuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrts!" Kiba added unnecessarily, imitating the sound of his family farts with enthusiasm. Kakashi sent him an amused glare before turning back to angry pair who were still aiming to hit each other.

"Maa maa... I'm sure Naruto didn't fart" Kakashi said nodding to the pouting little blond before glancing at the tiny Uchiha who glared at him, making him amend his statement, "And neither did Sasuke." He looked around for a suitable target to lay the blame on, lifting an eyebrow at Kiba before deciding he would react as violently as these two had before his gaze fell on another. He looked back the two furious 3 yr olds before sighing and admitting begrudgingly... "It was Sakura."

Sakura simply beamed and cooed happily.

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><p><strong>*Gigantic Grin* This just begged to be written, so how was it? I myself was grinning the whhhhole time I was writing the damn thing. Leave feedback, that way I'll know if you guys want a sequel which I already have planned out.<strong>

**Anyway, Read and Review, **

**Love Renae *two fingered salute***


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